Dear Berkley,
Today you are 3lbs and 30 weeks corrected! Your feedings are going to start back at 12 mL and increase to full feeds as soon as the Docs can. You are really alert today even though you are still on quite a bit of pain medicine. Surgry has helped your vent settings already. The infection is the root of all these crazy vent settings. I have asked everyone to specifically pray for your lungs, rest, growth, and recovery.
Everyone is coming to visit this weekend! I read the book Aunt Tracy got you to you all the time. It is called, "I prayed for you". I love this book! It talks about the many prayers a Mom has for her child as he grows. One day, I hope you get to read it back to me.
Day 41
Dear Berkley,
Your pain meds were stopped at 7:30pm. Your feeds are back to 24mL and you are handling them well. I'm praying you have a restful and easy night. Dr. Buckley came today and your first incision is starting to scab from the inside. This is exactly what he wants so now the dressing is off of it. Your newest incision is starting to drain a little. When I look at your leg, with both cuts, it makes me cringe. I wish I could take your place. You don't act like it bothers you too much, but I can't imagine having my whole upper leg cut open. You are so brave!
Dr. Morris told us today that you have pneumonia. The respiratory therapist have started doing Chest PT on you where they beat on your chest to help break up the mucus, etc. It is frustrating to hear this because you just can't seem to catch a break. With your lungs being chronic, we need more healing time for them....not pneumonia! We just don't always get the answers or solutions we want to hear. I am praying for the doctors to be able to catch things sooner, or before they start. July seems to get farther and farther away each day. Dad and I are trying to stay positive and patient, but it so hard!
Day 42
Dear Berkley,
You grew overnight! 3lbs and 4oz! It is Saturday so Dad got to be here all day with us! You love him so much! We laughed a lot today at you were smiling. I feel like you were laughing too when Dad was playing with you and being silly. I can't wait until we get home and he can do all the things he wants with you. I know you are going to have a special bond.
The last week has been hard on me. You are doing great, but another surgery got to me. I just hate setbacks for you. I sense you are hurting and that hurts me. I am trying to stay positive, but it is so hard! This whole situation, the hospital and all, is so tough! But no matter what, we are right here with you. I am not going anywhere. I just wish I could keep you safe and away from all of this. Tonight, Dad is taking me on a date - dinner that isn't the cafeteria! Hopefully this will help me take a breath and regroup. See you bright and early little bear.
Sleep sweet. Grow big. Be brave. I love you.
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