Days 17 - 20/1st surgery

   Your baby's first surgery. I'm sure regardless of what age is scary. Being 20 days old and premature...well, that threw me into a new scare I've never experienced. I don't know why I doubted Berkley. I should have known he is one tough cookie and would go through surgery easily. Well, I say easily. He had some obstacles, but surgery went well and medicines helped stabilize him. It took him almost a week to recover as you will read.
   God has taught me so much in the last few years, but in the last month he has SHOWN me so much. There is no way to doubt God when I look at our miracle. HE is there. Our heavenly father is always there - loving us, comforting us, supporting us, guiding us, and teaching us just like our fathers do.

Matthew 7:7-8
7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

Day 17
 Dear Berkley,
   Today I got to hold you again. I love our time together. Its so special to me now. Something I know is I cherish every moment 100x more than I ever imagined I could. Watching you overcome every obstacle that is thrown at you is something I will never let you forget. You are brave, you are strong, you are a miracle.
   The doctors confirmed you will have surgery in a few days. I just know you are going to feel so much better after it.

Day 18
Dear Berkley,
   The nurses are getting you ready for your surgery tomorrow. You have moved into an open bed. Now that you can hear all the noise and see all the light, you are not happy. You do not like all the activity going on surrounding you.  I love the open bed though because I can kiss you whenever I want. We will be here at 5:30am to spend some time with you before the doctors come at 6am. Surgery is scheduled for 7. Dad got to kangaroo with you tonight! You were so relaxed on his chest. I love you both so much!

Day 19
Dear Berkley,
   We are so proud of you. Today you had surgery and you did great. Everything went smoothly. The surgery itself only took 15 mins where it took almost two hours to get you ready and settled. The worst part for us was the waiting and watching them get you all ready for surgery. You are so strong. Some days, I think more than us. You are resting well after surgery. Pawpaw, Gammy, Nanna, Poppa, and Uncle Jeffery were all here. The NICU doctors and Dr. Clay are really pleased with how you did during surgery, your color, and oxygen levels right now.
  Dad and I talked tonight about how we are more at ease, but still very anxious. God wrapped you in his healing arms today. We are so blessed. Time is flying by, but standing still too. We are counting down the days. Praying extra tonight that you sleep well little bear.

Day 20
Dear Berkley,
   Buddy, you had a rough night. We got a few calls during the night about your blood pressure being lower than they liked and extra fluid build up.  This was all expected from surgery. I'm sitting with you now. You seem to be resting well and will open your eyes every now and then - almost to see if I'm still here. Your vent levels are up quite a bit, but the doctors expect that from your stress and possibly some fluid around the lungs. They will put you on some medicine to help work some of the fluid out.
  Today, my friend, April finished a nursery piece for you - a map that has on it "YOU ARE OUR GREATEST ADVENTURE". This holds true more than I thought when I asked her to do it before your arrival. I knew this would be a fun adventure, and truly the greatest for me and Dad. I did not count on it starting in April instead of July. But all in God's timing, not ours. We have so many things planned for you. We can not wait to see you experience things for the first time. Dad has a whole list, I'm sure half of which I will not approve. As April said, your adventure awaits. I love you so.

Sleep sweet. Grow big. Be Brave. I love you.

kangaroo time with Dad

Sitting with you after surgery